New laptop by Thursday, you jerks.

I am in my bathroom typing as quietly as possible so as not to wake Melinda, my girlfriend, while I inform you, the unwashed masses, of my Best Buy related fate. She sleeps lightly, even after the chloroform--it's herbal chloroform so don't get all bent out of shape. Completely natural and enviro-safe.

Anyway, regarding the whole lost computer situation....I won.

I am getting a better model, bigger, faster, stronger, laptoppier and for a lot less than I got the original.

And in exchange for my taking this offer and not suing them, BEST BUY is taking my advice and shoving it.

So it all worked out.

Please begin checking in late this week/early next week for my return to regular updates to this site and to drinkatwork.com where I will be writing a weekly humor column for money (under the table).

The IRS, much like their acronymed sibling UPS, can suck it if they think they're getting a piece of that $20 action.

UPS--you and I are not done. FYI, I'm thinking of calling Thunderdome.



Yours in forgiveness,

The Crespo